Sunday, April 24, 2016

The Diary of Zita Cecilia McNamara: On Marriage and Family

Dear Diary
Editor's Note: Click HERE to read Dr. C's previous post on the origin of Zita's diary. This entry begins with 13-year-old Zita writing to her guardian angel, "Bishop."

Dear Bishop (Day Fourteen) I better get my butt back to church. I’m going next Sunday. I must be getting devilish. Help me please. I love God.

Dear Bishop (Day Fifteen) Had a nice day. Please pray for Karl, Tom, Larry, and Cathy. I love them all. Enlighten Veronica’s mind. I love her very much.

Dear Bishop (Day Sixteen) I wish I were wise a little. Then, I could help Ken, Tom, and Larry, but I’m not. I shall pray your wisdom will help them God.

Reflections: It seems that I had a strong religious fervor and care for those who were not always kind to me. Um, no, I was not any “holy roller” by any means. Yet, the influence of the nuns and my parents really affected me. I had this strong belief in a Higher Being. And even to this day, I believe that only God can help others even I cannot do so on my own. 
You see I mention Veronica. She was a dear friend of mine when we were in grade school. However, she and I started going our separate ways. That was painful for me since she was really my only true friend, those last two years in grade school. She came to the school in the 7th grade. And there was something about her that I immediately liked. And we hit it off immediately. Yet, there was a sadness about her I could detect, but just could not put my finger on. She was the first person I had met who was the product of a broken home. Yes, where I grew up, all of us as kids had a mother and father, no stepfather or stepmother. 

Wow! Times have definitely changed. It is often a surprise when you talk with a person whose family is intact or if they, themselves, are still married with the first person whom they were wed to. And this whole thing of half-sisters and half-brothers just was not a regular thing where I was raised.

Oh, let me rethink what I have shared. My Daddy had been married before. And he had a daughter from that previous marriage. However, she never visited us. And so, I really grew up as an only child. Sometimes, I wished that she were a part of my life. However, that just did not occur. And that is why I decided if ever I married a man who had been married before me and had a child, I would make certain s/he would be an integral part of the family.  

Of course, with the preaching of my mother to NEVER marry a man who had been married because he was like a used car, too many issues from the first marriage. Well, that is what she said. And I must say as a youngster, I believed everything that my mother said even though I did note that she married Daddy. Oh well, yeah, I saw some of those issues. However, once one becomes older, one does mature and see for herself if, indeed, the issues were only that of one parent. Now, there is a discussion for another diary entry—I mean a detailed one (smile on that one).

I believe as a thirteen year-old I was an “old” thirteen year-old. I thought about things that many probably did not. I was concerned and prayed for classmates who were not always kind to me. I was concerned about a dear friend. I had determined to be a loving mother to a child if I ever married a man, which I would not—so I thought, with a child from a previous marriage. Geezo, yes, I was an old soul. And, perhaps, that was why, sometimes, kids were kind of unkind or aloof. I just did not always fit. 

Um, yes, as I reflect, I find it good that I did not always fit. It truly helped prepare me for my development as an adolescent and adult. Well, there will be so much more to say about that in future entries.

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