Sunday, December 4, 2016

The Diary of Zita Cecilia McNamara: Times of Change

Editor's Note: Click HERE to read Dr. C's previous post on the origin of Zita's diary. This entry begins with 13-year-old Zita writing to her guardian angel, "Bishop."

Dear Bishop (Age 17, Day 12) This has been quite a day. There is a rumor that Veronica is pregnant. God, I cried. And I am so hurt and worried for her that I could hardly think straight. I am still shaking. I wish it were not true. God and Blessed Mary, please make it not true, please!

Dear Bishop (Age 17, Day 13) Tom took me to the State Fair. It was very, very nice, and we had a lot of fun. I’ll never forget my ride with him in the Horror House. I’m not surprised I didn’t push him out of the car. It was really something. Great time! Then, we went to some of the jewelry stands and took a look at something for Tom’s mom. He bought her a gift. Then, as we continued to look at items, Tom bought me a ring that had my birthstone! No, it was not expensive but it means so much to me. Thank You, God.

Dear Bishop (Age 17, Day 14) You know that while I was in grade school, I was disliked by some because of my academic abilities. I was never elected to offices and, sometimes, heckled. But, now, my years at my high school are so very different just as Mums said it would be. I have been elected as secretary of my class and secretary of the Human Relations Club. Plus, I have been elected as secretary of a city-wide teen human relations organization. This really makes me feel good. And I am really enjoying my years at my high school. 

Reflections: I have one friend who always says: “The more things change the more they stay the same.” Yes, young teens continue to become pregnant. However, I recall that when this occurred to a person whom I really cared about, I really was hurt. I felt hurt that I had to find this out via a rumor. Of course, as I noted in a previous installment, we began to lose our closeness. Her choices of friends just did not fit with me. Still, I liked her. And to this day I do wonder what became of her.

And as you can see from the second diary entry, I continued my relationship with Tom, my first love. And receiving that ring was truly the highlight of my young life. And to think of it, he was the only guy who gave me a ring until the true man of my life, my husband, give me my engagement/wedding ring. 

I was blessed to meet very nice guys, not perfect guys, but nice before I met and married my husband. And I was very careful not to let myself get into a situation that would involve another human being coming into the world before I wanted such to occur. 

Yet, as I think of my friend, Veronica, I recall she did not have a father, the individual who should be the first man of a young girl’s life. And she did not like her stepfather much. And as I have become older and become more knowledgeable of the effects of such a situation on a young girl, now, I understand why our young lives were so different, she with an baby in her teens and me with a nice dude but no plans for having any child. 

Both of us were only planning to go to college and marry after we graduated (yes, naïve thoughts on our part, but our thoughts and plans). And I just knew that my Mum and Daddy would be so very hurt if I were to become pregnant. And even more so, I did not want ever to disappoint my Daddy. However, I, unlike my friend, had a Daddy whom I knew loved me above anything in this world besides my Mum. And that I am sure made a significant influence on my choices. 

And as for my wonderful experiences in my high school, they confirmed what my mother had said about how high school would be so different. Now, I recognize that is not the case for all teens, especially girls in this twenty-first century. However, one thing is for sure, we do not remain in that situation forever. 

I left those who were jealous of me, who were mean to me, who bullied me. And I do hope for any young person who reads this diary entry, I want her to know that she will not be bullied forever. That time will pass, and I know from experience that a new world opens up once one leaves those individuals. As for me it began in high school and continued when I went to college. And I never looked back. I left those who bullied me behind in the dust of my mind. And that is what I want any young girl who is being bullied now to keep in mind there will come a time that you will leave them in the dust of your mind. 

So, do not despair. I know what I am saying! I lived through it, thrived, and have no reason to look back but only to hope and pray their lives are as fulfilled as mine. I thank God that I did not let despair overcome me. Gee, I am having a super life and I thank God for it!

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