Dear
Bishop (My First Weeks on Campus): My roommate is real nice. She is a junior
preparing for a nursing career. She has a lot of studying to do. In a way it
seems strange that she would be placed in this freshmen dorm. Gee Whiz, girls
are in and out of their rooms laughing, partying, having guys in their rooms,
playing loud music, etc. She is trying to study in the midst of this noise and
chaos.
After
about three weeks, she could not take it any more. She asked me if I would move
with her to a more quiet dorm. Geezo, I have so much stuff. The idea of moving
is a bit too much for me even to consider. I really will miss her. She is such
a nice roomy.
Well,
let me share with you some unique experiences. If you recall I mentioned in my
last entry I would share more about the ignorance shown by some of the other
girls in Fisher House. Here goes. . .
My
roomy and I are in our room talking and this girl walks in. She says not a word
but walks around looking at the stereo, tape recorder, and fridge that we had as
well as our canned goods. My roomy and I just looked at her wondering what was
the deal. Keep in mind our dorm room was not huge, but large enough for my
roomy and me. Then, she looked at my roomy and asked: “Can I turn on your
stereo?” My roomy replied: “Well, you have ask Zita; it’s not mine.”
Then,
she looked at me and asked: “Is this stuff all yours?”
I
nodded the affirmative.
Then,
she asked: “What does your Father do?”
I
responded: “He works; what does yours do?”
She
just walked out, not answering my question.
My
roomy looked puzzled and asked me: “What do you think she wanted?” I shrugged
and said that I did not have a clue.
The
next day another girl from our floor came to our dorm room. My roomy and I
looked up and welcomed her. She gave a “hey.” Then, she, said to me: “You have
a lot of stuff. I doubt that my servants have all this stuff. What does your
Father do?”
Now,
before I write my response, I had to reflect on the many “human relations
workshops” I was a part and the value of such workshops provided not just for
students we talked to but for me as well. So, instead of my being irritated, I
just chalked up her inquiry and others who made similar inquiries those first
weeks as just “plain ol’ ignorance. I figured many of them had not had little
if any contact with African Americans except from what they may have seen or TV
or a movie. And much of the stuff on was not always that flattering of African
Americans.
So,
I responded: “Well, like I told your other friend, my Dad works like I figure
most of your Dads do. Now, let me give you something to think about: You really
do not know what your servants have
or do not have. If you did you would not ask such a question. And I can tell
you one thing. I would not be surprised that your servants are sick of you.”
Well,
she left and fewer visitors came to ask those ignorant questions.
Um,
I guess I am functioning as an ambassador for the ethnic ignorant.
Gee,
I am glad my roomy is not like some of the other girls. She has said to me:
“Wow, I am so sorry.”
I
let her know she is not responsible for others’ ignorance.
________________________________________________________________________
Reflections: I have always been a strong
believer that God has a reason for everything that happens. The unconscious
bias that I believe landed me in the almost all-white Fisher House was a
blessing in disguise.
Throughout my high school years, I was a
member of the Detroit Junior Round Table. This was a metropolitan Detroit human
relations organization that was made up of Detroit and suburban Detroit high
school students. This was a wonderful organization for young people. It was
made up of teens of different faiths and races.
Some of us would be chosen to provide
workshops at schools with little diversity. Some of us would be on panels that
would answer questions regarding racial relations. I learned how to anticipate
and answer questions that may annoy some. My experiences on those panels
prepared me for those whom I met in my dorm.
Would I become annoyed? Oh yes! However, I
met so many other girls in Fisher House, especially my roomy, that were so nice
and not as limited in their experiences to treat people as they would wish
others to treat them. As a matter of fact, I have many fond memories of stay at
Fisher House.
Also, my whole background made me feel
comfortable being in an all-white environment. I attended a Catholic grade school
and high school that had diverse student bodies. Also, the neighborhood I lived
was well-integrated. So, my whole experience growing up was being with a
diverse group of people.
Thus,
I know that my background prepared me for the ignorant and the wise. I learned
that no one group of people was a particular way. And with that knowledge my
background gave me, I was able to help the ignorant and not believe any one
group of people all felt the same way.
OK, next week, let me share more about my
first weeks as a freshman at the U.
